Poetic Justice
by TheArchives
Summary: Sasuke learns to summon the snakes, but things don't always go quite the way he plans... Complete!
1. First Summoning

Poetic Justice

A Drabble By: Clever Audrey (with ideas from Sneaky Cat)

Disclaimer: All things Naruto in this fic do not belong to me, nor to my fellow archivists, nor to anyone else other than Kishimoto-sama.

Warnings: Randomness. Other than that...none that I can think of. Unless you like Orochimaru. >:) No pairings.

Sasuke was frustrated.

He'd been with Orochimaru for almost a year now, and the stupid snake bastard wasn't teaching him _anything_! Oh, sure he'd learned some little things, but nothing really important, nothing powerful! Really, the best thing he'd learned all year had been a couple of Kabuto's healing jutsus, and that was about it!

And so during any battles he fought in, he kept his Sharingan out and scanning the fighting around him at all times, in the hopes of picking up something useful.

And, as luck would have it, today appeared to be one of those days.

Up against too many enemy ninja, and with Kabuto nowhere in sight, Orochimaru appeared to finally be pulling out one of his higher-level techniques. A flurry of seals that Sasuke's Sharingan tracked and memorized with ease, a bit of blood from the thumb, and then the spell, "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

A large explosion of smoke, and then the outcast of the Sannin was standing on the head of a very large, grey and brown snake.

From his hiding spot in the trees, Sasuke's eyes widened. This was the same technique Naruto had used to fight Gaara! And he had seen it with the Sharingan. Pleased at the prospect of finally having learned something useful, Sasuke returned his attention to the battle.

There'd be plenty of time to try out his newfound technique later.

* * *

Deciding to lean towards the side of caution, Sasuke had asked Kabuto about the summoning of animals, under the guise of asking how Naruto had summoned such a huge toad. 

Glad that he had asked (and that Kabuto had bought his story), Sasuke then set off to find the scroll that he was supposed to sign before he could summon snakes. Taking his chance on a morning when he knew Kabuto and his master were going to be out for several hours, he slipped into the snake man's apartments began to poke around for the scroll that Kabuto had described.

A couple of hours, many piles of clutter, dozens of scrolls and a couple of really creepy jars later, Sasuke had finally found the right one.

Sneaking out of Sound village with the huge scroll on his back wasn't the easiest thing in the world, but hey – he was Uchiha Sasuke and he would do anything necessary to get stronger. So, another hour later, he was finally outside, and in a secluded clearing about ten minutes' walk from the entrance to Sound's underground complex.

Laying out the scroll, Sasuke bit his thumb and wrote his name down the next blank line of the scroll, as elegantly as he could manage. Bloodying each of his fingertips, he pressed them down underneath his name, just as all the other signers had done, and then rolled up the scroll with a nod of satisfaction. Setting it aside for safekeeping, he moved to the center of the clearing.

Drawing up all the chakra he could muster, the dark-haired ninja carefully repeated the seals his Sharingan had picked up the other day, cried out "Kuchiyose no jutsu!" and slammed his palm flat to the ground in front of him.

For a split second, nothing happened. Then, so abruptly it left Sasuke gasping, there was a huge, smoky explosion, the soft ground under his hand changed to something hard and slick, and he felt himself rising at a very fast pace. Losing his balance, Sasuke toppled over, and looked around with wide eyes as the smoke cleared and he could see where he was.

He was perched on top of the head of an enormous, purple-and-black mottled snake.

Sasuke didn't get very far with his internal celebration of success, however, before the snake moved its head, as if trying to peer up at him.

"Who dared to sssummon me?" Came a booming, hissing voice. "Who sssummonsss Manda?"

Taking a deep breath and swallowing, Sasuke gathered his courage and slid down to perch on the end of the snake's snout.

"I summoned you. I am Uchiha Sasuke."

"You? You, little brat, ssssummoned me? Ss, ss, ss, ssss." The snake gave what the Uchiha could only suppose was a chuckle. "That isss very amusssing."

Very much aware of the fact that Manda could swallow him whole without even noticing him go down, Sasuke stood his ground, trying not to let his fear show.

"I did! And I've signed your scroll – look if you don't believe me!"

Manda eyed him, unconvinced. "We ssshall sssee."

Sasuke was about to try again, when a distant sound from below made him look down.

Orochimaru and Kabuto were standing below, yelling up at him, he thought. He regarded the two men on the ground for a moment, then turned back to the snake.

Pointing a decisive finger down at Orochimaru, Sasuke said two words.

"Eat him."

Manda looked down, saw who was being pointed at, and refocused his eyes on this Uchiha brat. "Kid, I think I like you. Hold on."

Darting back up to grab one of the spikes on top of Manda's head, Sasuke very much enjoyed the ride down as the snake lowered its head. He also enjoyed the terror on Orochimaru and Kabuto's faces as they realized what was about to happen, and couldn't do anything to stop it.

But, most of all, he enjoyed the satisfying 'snap!' of Manda's jaws as they closed around Sasuke's former teacher.

Apparently, Manda enjoyed it too, because he repeated, "I think I like you," and let Sasuke get off to stand on the ground in front of him.

"Very well, brat. I ssshall accsssept you asss my new sssummoner. You are now in charge of that ssscroll – sssee to it that you take good care of it. It'sss hard to damage, but not impossssible. And don't be sssummoning me too often, or you'll end up jusssst like your predecssessssor."

Sasuke nodded, braced himself against the wind as the king snake abruptly disappeared, and then gave in to his earlier temptation to grin.

Now, he was getting somewhere.

Owari…or maybe a sequel or two… ;)


	2. Second Summoning

Poetic Justice – Part 2

By: Clever Audrey (with inspiration from fellow Archivists)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except possibly Sini.

Warnings: One naughty word?

AN: Since I've been offered Pocky... ;) Here you go!

"I don't believe you, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto scowled at him. He smirked.

"It's true all the same, dobe."

"Just show us already, kid," Tsunade interrupted their shouting match before it could get going.

Sasuke had reappeared unexpectedly in Konoha, claiming that he had summoned Manda and ordered him to eat Orochimaru. Tsunade was, of course, extremely skeptical of this story – but when early scouting reports did seem to indicate that Sound village was in a state of chaos, she began to wonder if their runaway wasn't telling the truth.

So, she had dragged him here to a flat plain well outside the village to let him try and prove his claim. If he _had _summoned Manda, then the rest of his story was likely true; the king snake held little love for its former summoner.

Naruto, of course, had insisted on coming along to see whether or not Sasuke could really hold up his story.

"Hn." Sasuke took a deep, calming breath and gathered his chakra. His hands flying through the appropriate seals, he bit his thumb and quickly slammed his hand to the ground. "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

He waited, bracing himself for the sudden rush upwards as Manda appeared beneath him.

Except…there was no rush. There was an explosion, just like last time, and smoke…but….

The smoke cleared.

Sasuke stared, disbelieving, at the small black snake (_maybe_ a foot long) that curled its head around to glare at him.

"Who ssummoned me? I wass bussy catching fliessss…"

Naruto fell over laughing. "Whaaat? That's not Manda, teme!"

Tsunade tried unsuccessfully to hide a chuckle behind her hand. Sasuke quit gaping long enough to turn his darkest scowl on both of them.

"Ansswer me! Ssstupid human…"

"I'm not stupid! And where the hell is Manda?"

"'Tousssan doesssn't come out for jussst any sssummonsss, ssstupid." Her tone implied that he was completely hopeless for not knowing that.

Naruto, still laughing, rose to his feet and whipped through a few seals of his own, bit his thumb and called out "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

"Yo!" the smoke from the blond's summoning cleared to reveal Gamakichi, greeting them with one raised 'hand.'

"Yo!" Naruto returned, grinning, then pointed behind him.

The young toad turned, and saw the snake. "Ah, so it's you, Sini."

"Yesss."

"Your pops feeling any better?" the toad grinned. "My pops did quite a number on him last time they fought."

The little snake hunched herself back into a striking pose and hissed angrily. "Only becaussse hiss lassst massster wassss sssssstupid."

"His _last_ master?" Tsunade asked quickly.

"Yessss."

"Who is his new summoner?"

The snake threw the Fifth Hokage a look that said she was a dumb as everyone else. "Thisss ssstupid human of courssse." Her head jerked toward Sasuke.

The dark-haired boy nodded curtly, trying to use the acknowledgement to ease his hurt pride.

"I see," Tsunade said, shaking her head over the snake's behavior. Manda really shouldn't have children; one bitchy snake running around was bad enough. "Then I'll have to assume that the rest of what you told me is true, Sasuke. The evidence does appear to support it. Though," and she snickered, "you're going to have to work on your summoning skills."

Naruto, dismissing Gamakichi before he and the snake could get into a real fight, broke out laughing again.

Sasuke decided then and there that he was going to prove to Naruto that he _could_ summon the king snake, no matter what.

AN: More poetic justice...? I'll let you guys decide. ;D

TBC….?


	3. Third Summoning

Poetic Justice – Part 3

By: Clever Audrey  
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Sasuke, Manda or Gamabunta.  
Warnings: Bad language?

AN: Back from Spring Break! Apologies for the delay - hope it's worth it:)

Sasuke smirked.

The view from on top of Manda's head certainly was lovely, especially when he was looking down at one Uzumaki Naruto who seemed torn between gaping and scowling at the recently returned runaway.

"Hn. Dobe," Sasuke muttered to himself.

"Brat! What have you sssummoned me for thisss time?" Manda's hissing voice boomed up to him.

Sasuke didn't even blink. "I had to prove that I could – the people in Konoha didn't believe me."

"That'ssss not good enough, brat!"

Manda seemed about to go on, but Naruto's voice crying out "Kuchiyose no jutsu!" distracted them both. There was an enormous explosion, and then Naruto was nearly on a level with Sasuke, perched on the head of Gamabunta, who seemed just as peeved about his summons as Manda was.

"Eh? Kid, what's going on?" The boss toad saw the king snake, and got serious. "Manda."

"Gamabunta," the snake replied. "Ssssso your brat ssssummoned you, too?"

The toad looked to see Sasuke on top of Manda's head. "What happened to Orochimaru?"

"I ate him at lasssst. Thanksss to thisss brat."

"I am _not_ a brat," Sasuke insisted, scowling.

"Yes you are, teme!" Naruto shouted back, grinning widely.

"Yesss you are, brat. And you sssstay out of thissss," Manda hissed, peering at Naruto. "Ssstupid brat."

"I'm not stupid and I'm not a brat, you overgrown earthworm!" Naruto raged.

There was a moment of dead silence, and then,

"Earthworm?" Manda hissed, rearing up to stare menacingly down at the blond boy. "_Earthworm_?"

"Yeah!"

"I am no earthworm, you inssssignificant orange ssssshrimp! How dare you inssssssult Manda!"

"I'll insult whoever I want, Stripey!"

"You do not have the intelligence to deal with me, midget!"

"Not enough intelligence? This from the snake who ended up with Orochimaru _and_ Sasuke-teme as his summoners! And you call _me_ dumb?"

"Yesssss, I do. You have not lived a fraction of the time I have, ssssshrimp. How can you pressssume to more knowledge than I?"

"That just proves my point! All that experience and you _still_ end up with bastards for summoners!"

"Puny human! What would you know of ssssuch matterssss?"

"More than you, apparently, you legless salamander!"

"Sssssalamander? I'll sssshow you sssssalamander you sssspinelesssss, noisssssy, ssssssorry excussssse for a ninja!"

"Okay, that's it! You're snake soup! I've never tried snake-flavored ramen before, but I'm up for new experiences. Get your ssssnakey, cowardly head down here!"

"Your ancessstorsssss will regret the day you inssssulted Manda!"

Sasuke and Gamabunta stood there, holding their heads and wondering how they'd ended up in this situation.

"Can't the dobe ever learn to shut up?" Sasuke sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Why do I always get the loud ones?" Gamabunta mourned.

"Bloated, daft, ludicrous excuse for a reptile!"

"Sssslow, inssssipid, crasssss bratling!"

Fifteen minutes later, Gamabunta had had enough. "Oi! Kid!"

"What?" Naruto shouted back, annoyed at the interruption. He'd been on a roll!  
"I'm leaving now. I've put up with your idiocy long enough!"

"Hey, no, wait!" Naruto managed to jump clear and into a tree as the boss frog vanished in a huge cloud of smoke.

"I musssst go assss well," Manda hissed.

"Ha!" Naruto crowed. "You're just running away 'cause you know I'm right!"

The snake glared, and Sasuke thought it was a good thing for Naruto that the snake's venom could only come from its fangs and not its eyes. "Mind yourssself, brat – we're not finisssshed. And you, Ssssasssuke. No more ssssummoning me for pointlessss reasssonssss." The king snake also disappeared. Unprepared, Sasuke only just barely caught a perch in a nearby tree as he fell, which of course set Naruto off laughing.

"Shut up, dobe, it's not like you did any better." The dark-haired boy was still irritated, but not as much as he could have been. At least he had proven that he really could summon the king snake. He also took pride in getting back to the ground much more gracefully than his blond teammate.

"Told you," he couldn't help taunting as soon as they were down from their respective trees.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto scowled, and pouted the whole way back to the village. But as they reached the gates he turned to Sasuke with a mischievous grin. "Bet I can climb Hokage Mountain higher than you!" He challenged.

Sasuke just groaned.

Owarimasu!


End file.
